Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day.

Today is Memorial day. Last year I had a baby who died during birth. January 3 is her birthday. My boyfriend took me to her grave today. We took flowers and visited her grave. I named her Millee Margaret. She had dark hair and a beautiful face. I picture her as a little girl with long curly hair. I picture her meek and calm. A sweet little girl full of love.
To this day I feel guilty that I lost her. I always think I didn't try hard enough. If I would have kept trying I would have my little girl today. People tell me I'll get over loosing her in time. I think I might never get over loosing her. And I think that is okay. People get so hung up on the fact that they are not over things that hurt them. Why do we have to get over them? I don't want to cry everyday and I don't want to feel guilty everyday either. But I don't want to forget what happened ever. Life teaches us lessons everyday. If we try and "get over" them we've missed the reason we went through them to begin with.


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