Sunday, August 28, 2011

Burn out!!!

I have come to the realization just this morning in fact that I am burned out! I'm emotionally and so now physically burned out.  I have had a rough 10 years.  I had a plan to get myself back on track but first to do so I needed to take time to re-group, prioritize, relax and rejuvenate.  I was in the process of moving out of my moms house and setting up my own little sanctuary but instead I ended up getting married, getting three children, moving to a new city, going back to church and now commuting to work every day.  I'm on the road three hours a day!  Oh, and I'm still trying to finish my stupid degree.  Don't get me wrong I'm happy about being married and moving and such however, all of this was not part of my re-grouping plan.  Now that we're settled into our apartment in Logan and starting to get into the swing of life I'm feeling very tired.  Wait I was tired before all of this so now I'm actually exhausted.  I'm tired all the time.  I'm starting to get headaches a few times a day.  I have an involuntary eyebrow twitch that is rather annoying but starts when I feel myself getting too overwhelmed.

Another horrify thought came to me today while I was walking into church.  My leg/prosthesis is a curse.  I have always thought of my prosthesis as a blessing.  I'm so grateful to have it so I can get around easily.    Lately I have been so uncomfortable in my leg.  The summers are the worse months for me because I sweat and the moisture and heat cause my leg to literally fall off.  Imagine walking through Target and having to stop in the middle of the isle and figure out a way to drag yourself somewhere to fix your leg that is falling off and therefore you can't walk around very well if at all.  I have lost my patience with this situation.

What do I do?  


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